By Karis Pumphrey, GBH Intern
This morning I read a blog about foster care. It was written from the perspective of a new foster mom who was answering the infamous question of “how do you do it?!”. Because the most common response to the call to foster is “I don’t think I could do it. I couldn’t love someone so much for an amount of time that I do not know and then let him or her go. I couldn’t do it.” Her answer spoke to me in ways that I wouldn’t have fully understood two months ago.
“Love is always worth it”
I work at an orphanage that functions more like a foster home, but is just placed in a country that doesn’t have a foster care system. We see babies come into this home, love them with everything we have, and release them into God’s care - wherever He chooses to place them. When I worked here last summer I saw two babies come into the home, but I never saw anyone leave. While I was home in the fall, I knew of two that went to their forever families. It was sad to see them go, but I was so overcome with joy to know they had a mom and a dad to raise and love them. Since I wasn’t part of the process here, I didn’t fully go through the emotions.
On January 15 and February 8 my perspective was completely changed. On these two days I actually got to be part of the going home process of two precious pieces of my heart. Amelia arrived at Grace Babies’ Home this summer when I was here, and Daniela has been a part of the GBH family longer than I have. Ever since they entered these doors we have prayed for their forever families. I prayed completely in faith, but my reaction on the days they left made me question if I fully believed they would ever leave because of how much shock I was in. We got the call on January 14 that Amelia would be adopted back into her biological family the next day. On February 7 we got the call that Daniela would be adopted into her forever family the next day. Those were two moments that time stood still and my heart sank. If this is something I’ve prayed for, why am I so surprised, and honestly, so upset that God answered my prayers? You see, God does answer prayers. He always does. Sometimes it isn’t what we asked, and sometimes it’s exactly what we asked. Those two days God answered our prayers exactly, even down to the puppy we prayed for Daniela to have.
If someone would have asked me on February 8 after recently saying goodbye to the second baby in only a few weeks if foster care was worth it, honestly, I would’ve said no. My heart was so incredibly broken and I’m tearing up even now as I type this thinking back to the pain I experienced that day. Saying goodbye is hard. Actually, it sucks. But after grieving the loss of these precious girls, God opened my eyes. If these babies weren’t here, where would they be? If I didn’t love them, who would? God has a bigger ability to love than we could ever imagine. And I promise you that even after having my heart broken on those days, God has loved on me. I’m reminded of the passage in Matthew where Jesus tells us to care for the “least of these”. These unwanted and forgotten babies ARE the least of these. They’re the ones Jesus was talking about! By being obedient to the call to care for the fatherless, God WILL bless you and He WILL carry you through it. God would not call us to do something and leave us to figure it out alone. Because I let myself love with my whole heart knowing that my time with these babies was limited, God has given me the ability to love even more. My heart is even more full of joy because of the goodbyes. So even though it would seem like constant goodbyes would cause a heart to be calloused, if you let God work through you, it becomes quite the opposite.
Love is always worth it.
I’m so blessed to be part of this ministry right now. God is breaking me apart in the best ways and teaching me what He meant when He called His people to care for the fatherless. And let me tell you, I think the fatherless are the cutest kids I’ve ever met.
